Who are you seeking? What has your heart? Why do you want the attention of men? Why don’t you trust me enough? You want to control your life. I already had a plan for you while you were in your mothers womb. Yes you’re a virgin you live “right” you do good things but your heart is so far away from me. A part of you still feel like you’re missing out on something you love me but you don’t fully trust me, this is why I need you in this ugly season to grow you up. You’re afraid to tell your testimony because you feel like people won’t except you but God said “I have already excepted you through Christ” you feel that you’re already labeled as the “Jesus girl” so why continue to go on? You feel so scared to move because you have failed in the past. I’ve come that you might have life more abundantly stop living beneath your means and fight.
Me:How do I fight lord? How do I trust you when all I see isn’t going as expected?
GOD: With my word you put on the whole armor of God and you face your problems because I don’t make armor to secure you’re back, try me….
Welcome to The ugly season
I introduce you to my conversations with God in the beginning of this blog to show you how God has to sometimes talk to you and show you how to trust him during the worst season. Sometimes you feel abandon by God because you don’t hear during the worst season of your life. So I’ll share with you through my own life how I had to and still having to have blind faith during my ugly season.
What’s a ugly season?
A season where it seems like everything is going wrong. Everything is falling apart and it just don’t seem like you can catch a break. You become temporary happy because you know the feeling of joy won’t last long. You pray over and over again, you’re seeking God, trying to live right and you’re still coming up short.
Let’s be clear everybody has an ugly season and everybody have different labor pains. “Labor pains?? Wait I thought we were talking about seasons” I know that’s what some of you are thinking but just bare with me and hear me out, well just keep reading. You know when a mother first become pregnant she is so happy she’s still at her same size everybody is there for her she’s just ecstatic because she knows she’s carrying a life inside of her. As the months go pass she start to feel the pains of being pregnant. Her stomach start to stretch, it’s harder for her to walk, her face look different, she puts on more weight in order to protect the life she is carrying. She begins to becomes a tad depressed because she don’t like who she is while she is pregnant but she remembers what she is carrying and she push through these feelings and pain. When she finally give birth to that baby, that life that she’d been carrying for nine months she realize all of this was worth it. She looks down and see the life that she is holding and she thinks to herself I would do it all over again just to see you.
We’re pregnant too you know! We’re giving pregnant with purpose and you might have been pregnant for months even years. You have been experiencing major labor pains. You hate who you are while carrying this life inside of you but think about what’s going to happen when you birth that purpose you have been carrying.
DON’T GIVE UP!
They that wait upon the lord shall renew their strength. Jesus is our help you may have been in you ugly season for so long and feel like you will never get past this. I’m here to tell you there’s purpose in your pain. Nobody wants to feel pain or fail but we learn from failing. When you fail you learn how to do things better the next time around. Failing makes you mature it and pain teach you life lessons.
How can you have a testimony without a test? If you have never been through nothing you will never know nothing. This is my daily pep talk to myself. I want to be an example to youth today. I want to be the voice of the young people I have so much purpose inside of me that it’s hurting me to keep it in. I can’t give up because I’m experiencing labor pains or because my season seems to be lasting for so long. I always remember Jesus a perfect man he was but still went through HELL just to save our sins. He went through a painful pregnancy just birth of a nation of people saved by grace. That’s us you know! If he hadn’t given his life willingly like that we would have never been able to live freely in him. We would’ve been under the law where you can be killed for anything! This is what keeps me going because I know that my savior isn’t so high up that he doesn’t empathizes with my pain. He has been through why more than us so please trust the process that you are “growing” through. God wouldn’t put more on you than you can bare. Think about it if it wasn’t for your good do you think he would allow it to happen? No God doesn’t do things coincidently he strategically plans our lives so we can be who he called us to be. Don’t sweat the process embrace it! Stop crying and complaining and do something about it! What have you done to set you up for the return of the lord he has given you all this purpose along with a bible to live by use your tools and work with that! God has us we have to learn to step out on faith and do what we are called to do! Jesus is on his way back will you be ready? When he asks you what have you done with the time I have giving you what will you say? Redeem the time!
If you’re fearful of it go after it became fear is not of God that’s the enemy trying to stop you before you get started because he knows how much power you hold, take your power back NOW!